


Our Light Went Out When You Wanted It To

by AFey



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 03:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7874770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFey/pseuds/AFey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex and Addison discussing Alex's marriage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Light Went Out When You Wanted It To

Alex leans against the wall of the elevator and hopes to hell he can make it to the ground floor without crossing paths with anyone he knows. He realises the likelihood of this actually happening is virtually nil. An event like that would constitute a miracle and miracles don't happen to guys like him. Well, maybe Izzie surviving the bitch of all cancers might qualify, but since that's all turned to shit now he's pretty sure that doesn't count. Hell, he doesn't even believe in miracles so why he's wasting time hoping for one is beyond him. Hope is something he has in short supply and expending it on something that doesn't even exist is pretty fucked-up. When the elevator stops with only two floors between him and certain freedom, he changes his mind and thinks the guy supposedly in charge of miracles is kind of screwing with him. When the doors open, he's certain of it.

"Karev," she says, a slight smile on her face as she steps into the elevator.

He attempts a smile but she always sees through his facade so he gives up and stares at his feet. The smell of her perfume hits him as she stands beside him and the doors close. It conjures up a vision of an on-call room; quickly discarded scrubs; her legs wrapped around his waist; his fingers tangled in long, red hair. It also brings back - a little too forcefully - the pressure of knowing she was looking for someone reliable and responsible and cutting her loose because he was not that guy. He can't help but wonder how different his life might be now if he had been that guy then.

"You didn't run."

Addison's words startle him enough that he looks up at her, the confusion clearly obvious on his face.

"What?"

"You didn't run. Last time I was here, you said you felt like running. That there was a train..." Her words trail off as if she realises that remembering what they talked about months ago reveals something she'd rather not acknowledge. She clears her throat and moves her handbag from one shoulder to the other.

"How's your brother?" Alex replies, because it's the only thing he can think to say to dispel the awkward silence.

"Still an ass. Thanks for asking, Karev."

The bluntness of her response catches him by surprise and his smirk is a reflex. "Yeah, some of us were wondering if maybe he was adopted."

"No. He's definitely a Montgomery. You can tell by the cheating gene. We've all got it." Addison's response is flippant and if he didn't know her as well as he does, he'd think she was okay with that. But he knows her. Or at least, he knew her well enough once that even now he can detect the self-loathing underlying the statement.

The doors open and they exit the elevator, both heading towards the front doors of the hospital.

"So, according to your logic, I'm a lousy husband."  
Alex isn't sure if it's his words or the way he says them, but either way it stops Addison dead in her tracks. He passes by her, still heading towards the doors, but halts when she responds.

"What do you mean?"

He turns around and folds his arms. "My Dad was a drunk. I practically grew up in a bar. And he used to..." Alex shakes his head before continuing, "Short story. He was a lousy husband. So am I. Not in the same way. But still, I am. That's why she left me."

"Alex." She says it softly as she walks towards him. 

He's not sure if it's the use of his first name or the fact that he's finally admitted out loud what he's been fearing for weeks, but suddenly he's having trouble breathing. His throat is constricting and he fights the urge to turn and run. Addison halts just in front of him. He hopes looking anywhere but directly at her face is going to help him keep it together.

"I don't really know why she's gone. I mean, I've heard some things today." She reaches out and lightly touches his right arm. "Look at me, Alex."

He looks up at her and he's surprised by the sadness he sees in her eyes.

"I don't know what's happened with you and Izzie. But you're a decent guy, Alex. I'm sure you're not a lousy husband."

"How would you know? You've haven't been here in months. You don't know anything that's been going on around here."

She closes her eyes for a moment. All of this is true but she knows it makes no difference.

"Maybe not. But I know how you were with Ava. And, I know how much you love Izzie. You stayed. It was her that ran."

Alex swallows and even though he still thinks she's wrong, he feels some relief at her words. Perhaps all the problems in his marriage aren't his fault.

Addison removes her hand and starts walking towards the doors.

Before she gets very far, she glances over her left shoulder. "Good-bye, Karev," she says, the professional mask firmly back in place.

Alex turns toward her and shoves his hands in his pockets.

"See you next time, Doctor Montgomery."

She smiles in response. "Yeah, I guess so. Escaping this place is harder than I expected."


End file.
